The Most Important Thing To Do This Holiday Season

Ahhhh, December.  A time when colorful lights illuminate our neighborhoods, strangers greet one another with wishes of "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays," and our to-do lists become so unmanageable it sends stress levels through the roof.  Cookies to bake, lights to hang, the anxiety of wanting to get that "perfect" gift - just typing it is sending the cortisol surging through my body.  *shudder*

Its also a time we hear the message to slow down and remember why we celebrate in the first place.  A wonderful message, most would agree - but who has the time to slow down?  That list I typed was just the tip of the iceberg...

Unfortunately, when our days are so jam-packed with events, it's hard to be present in the here & now.  Our minds are constantly thinking ahead to the next thing on our never-ending list.  What to do? 

You guessed it - slow down anyway. Not always easy, but as a wise, old marketing slogan once told me:  Just Do It. Take some time to savor the holiday happenings around you, and surprise! your happiness will increase. Let me say that again:  enjoying the moment = more happiness.  Be mindful.  Aware. Relax a little.

Easier said than done?  Then plan to relax.  Actually put it on your list.  Use the time you have right now and take a red pen to your to-do list.  What items are big time-suckers that you can do without (do you really need to put up lights a la Clark Griswold or can you throw up a strand and call it good)?  Do you need to attend all of those holiday parties and bring fresh baked treats to each one (repeat after me: it's OK to say no)?  Where can you schedule some time to relax and unwind?

Speaking of unwinding, who doesn't like to unwind with a good book?

*WARNING - Shameless self-promotion ahead*

My new book, "How To Live Your Happiest Life" has just been released and is chock-full of nifty happiness tips, just for you.  Identifying priorities, goal-setting, the physical side of happiness - it's all here and can be downloaded in mere seconds thanks to the wonders of technology.  (And of course, it would make a wonderful Christmas gift.  The gift of happiness - what else could you ask for???).

So what are you waiting for?  Click here and take a sneak peek!  You'll be glad you did!

Are You Still Grateful?

So, November is almost half-over and a lot of folks are still doing the "post something I'm grateful for every day on Facebook" thing.  If that's you, are you running out of ideas yet?  I hope not!  There are so many things to be grateful for - take a look around you!  For those of you who are grateful for people, I decided to re-post something from my former blog 100 Days of Thank You.  I hope that by reading it you might be inspired to tell someone you are grateful for them instead of posting on Facebook.  Go ahead.  Take the extra step.  You might like it.  Enjoy!

Who to Thank

So far, I have thanked a variety of people/organizations.  Some were heartfelt...some were, uh...a little weak, but since I'm making the rules here, I say they still count.  Here are some examples of people I have thanked:
*  A very dear friend who has always been an inspiration to me (thanked via email).
*  The pastor at my church who I think does a phenomenal job (thanked via email).
*  The chick who cut my hair - she was so happy & fun the entire time - maybe it was the fumes from the hair dye, but I think she's maybe just a fun person (thanked IN PERSON...but I didn't go into much "thank you detail, since I didn't want to freak her out.  I do want her to cut my hair again).
* ConAgra foods.  O.K., this one is one of my more "weaker" thank yous, but I had what I felt to be an exceptionally delicious "Healthy Choice" meal for lunch the other day & thought they should know how much I liked it.  (Obviously, this was another emailed thank you.  If you are curious, I believe it was a lemon chicken meal with peppers & noodles.  Highly recommended).

The list goes on, but that is just a sampling of the people I have thanked.  Pretty much, anyone who makes my life a little better gets a thank you (slowly but surely).  I am finding it REALLY easy to send emails and not so easy to thank people in person.  I'm talking a true, heartfelt thank you -not just a  "thanks" when someone holds the door for you.  Perhaps I need to step it up a notch to make this challenge a little more of a challenge...stay tuned to see if I can find the courage to start thanking more people in person...

Tune in next week when we explore more ways to express gratitude!  Until then, here is a short clip to give you a little gratitude inspiration!  

Louie Schwartzberg's TEDtalk on "Gratitude"

This Is Your Brain On Gratitude

Ahhh, November, aka, the "Gratitude Month."  If you are like me, your news feed on Facebook has now been infiltrated with post after post of what your friends are grateful for. While sometimes predictable and other times close to bragging, this is actually a terrific practice - one that should continue past November 30th.  Expressing gratitude is good for us on so many levels, so to help celebrate the "Gratitude Month" I've decided to share an excerpt from my new book "How To Live Your Happiest Life" (out soon!).  I hope you enjoy!

"Hopefully, we are all being grateful from time to time, but are you spending enough time being thankful for what you have or are you taking it all for granted? How much time do you spend dwelling on what's wrong about a situation instead of what's right about it? As Stephen Covey said in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, "The way we see the problem is the problem." Shift your perspective and look at things from a different point of view and you may just see more things to be grateful for. 

Interestingly, a "grateful" brain actually looks different when scanned than a brain focusing on negative things. When we're focused on negative things (i.e., why did this tree fall on my house!) we become clumsier and less likely to think of a solution to our problem. We process information slower and get confused more easily.

Practicing gratitude daily can give us a greater sense of well-being, make us more likely to help others, and help us make more progress toward our goals. In a study, doctors who regularly practiced gratitude were better at making a correct diagnosis. Grateful people also are (surprise!) happier, more satisfied with life, exercise more and feel physically healthier (probably due to all that exercise).

It wasn’t long ago that I conducted a short experiment entitled “100 Days of Thank You.”  (You can read the brief blog here:  www.100DaysofThankYou.blogspot.com ).  Much like volunteering, gratitude can (but doesn't have to) involve others. I found that as I verbalized my feelings of gratitude toward others, I was also getting that familiar 'ol warm-fuzzy feeling. Again, being kind to others = being kind to yourself. But fear not, introverts! You don't have to actually tell people you are grateful for them. Simply keeping a journal of what you are grateful for is a big step in the right direction."

Next week, I will continue with the gratitude theme and we'll look at what you should be grateful for (just in case you were running out of Facebook posts!).  

Exercise: It's not so complicated, after all!

In this week's post, we continue looking at how having a healthy body can increase our overall happiness.  In the last few weeks I've been talking about how important nutrition is in maintaining our health (and I had plenty to say about it!).   Today, we'll take a look at the physical-fitness side of things.

There's no question about it - our bodies were made to move.  Unfortunately, judging by the general physique of the population, many of us aren't moving enough.  Are you moving enough?  Try this - keep track of how often you are sitting/lying down throughout any given day.  Do you commute?  Have a desk job?  Like to relax in front of the TV before bedtime?  There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but added together, they make for a pretty sedentary lifestyle.

What types of exercise are the best?  Ask ten people and you'll get ten different answers.  Some swear by running.  Others say lifting weights is key.  You'll find many yoga fanatics out there alongside those that just like to walk around their neighborhood.

Want to know the best kind of exercise?

The one you'll do.  That's kind of a "duh" answer, but it's true.  If you do not have major weight loss or body/shaping goals, then it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you do.  

There are a plethora of "programs" to choose from (turn on the TV at 3 AM you are sure to find a muscle-bound, sweaty guy pushing his latest product on you), there are also YMCA's to join, online support, fitness magazines, etc.  Pick one and do it.  And if you don't like it & didn't stick with it - pick something else.

Yes, it's probably smart to have some form of cardio.  Yes, it's probably smart to have some weight-bearing activities.  Stretching is a good idea as well (plus, it just feels good).  Truth is, pretty much any physical activity you do will fall into one of those three categories.  Don't make this part so hard.

Often, we tend to overcomplicate things - perhaps we are looking for an easier answer (i.e., take this pill and you'll wear the pants size you're dreaming of).  The easy answer is this - move your body every day in a way you find enjoyable.

Simple.

Now get off the computer and go for a walk!

If You're Sick of Diets - READ THIS!

This week, we continue to look at how to keep our bodies physically healthy so that we may achieve maximum happiness.  Staying with the nutrition component of physical fitness, today we're going to take a look at what you should be feeding that body of yours.  

If you're like most Americans, at some point in your life you have probably tried to "diet."  These days, there are probably as many diets as there are people dieting: South Beach Diet, Atkins, Paleo, Biggest Loser, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig - the list goes on.  Each diet has its own cult following, websites filled with inspiring before and after pictures, and a list of rules that must be followed to achieve maximum results.  

Even if you are not currently on a diet, many people still like to try to eat healthy at least sometimes.  Unfortunately, with all of the diet/nutrition information we are being (over)fed on a daily basis (many of it contradicting yesterday's report) it can be confusing to know what's OK to eat and what's not.  

"Fat is bad!  Don't eat it!"  "Wait - no, fat is OK!  Eat it up!"  "Hold on - some fat is OK.  Here is today's list of OK fat..."  

No wonder obesity is such an epidemic - even  trying to eat well is so confusing its easier to just not care!  

Well friends, let me ease your minds.  It doesn't have to be so hard.  In fact, it can be downright easy.  I believe Michael Pollan puts it best in his book, "In Defense of Food," when he says:

"Eat real food.  Mostly plants.  Not too much."  

Let me break that down for you just a stitch - 

"Eat real food" - we're talking about ditching the processed stuff, here.  Who cares what the front of the box claims or even what the nutrition label has to say - we're just interested in the ingredients.  If you can't pronounce it, couldn't re-create it in your kitchen and your great-grandma wouldn't recognize it as food, don't eat it.  

"Mostly plants" - lettuce, peppers, apples, grapes, etc.  Things you could grow yourself if you had the time and talents.  Food that God put on this earth however many years ago.  Eat lots of that.  

"Not too much" -  Although this is one of Pollan's original 3 rules, don't get hung up on this one.  If you are following the first two rules, you aren't going to need to worry too much about it.  Fact of the matter is, your stomach will tell you when you are full of "real food" a lot quicker than if you are eating the more calorie-dense processed junk.  

That's it.  That's all you have to do and I am willing to bet you will start to shed some un-needed pounds, your blood sugar levels will be where they need to be, your cholesterol levels should be in an appropriate range and a host of other good things will start happening in your body. 

If I haven't made a believer out of you yet, I encourage you to read "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan or watch the brief 90-ish minute documentary, "Forks Over Knives."  (Click here to watch it free on hulu).  

Will it take work up front?  Yes, particularly if you're prone to fast food and convenience food.  There will be new recipes to try, new products to learn about at the grocery store, but its worth it.  I promise.  Your body will thank you, and really - isn't that the whole idea?  

For recipe inspiration go to 100 Days Of Real Food - its a great place to get started!

Eat to Be Happy!!

This week we continue our look at how to live a healthier life. Last week, I went into more detail on why we should want to be healthy - if you missed it, see below.   Living healthy will save you from  many health problems down the road (making you un-happy) - not to mention the fact that your body will feel so much better in the present moment, if it is a healthy one (making you happy).

Today's focus is on nutrition and it's an important one.  Now, don't get me wrong - our bodies were made to move and physical activity will most definitely be a future blog post.  However, you don't need to exercise for hours a day if you are eating the right foods.  Tosca Reno, author and fitness guru puts it into these terms: gaining a healthy body is done through 80% nutrition, 10% training, and 10% genetics.  That's a huge emphasis on what you're putting on your plate every day.

I am continually amazed when I hear people talk about going to the gym to "run off the ice cream" they just ate for supper.  Maybe you've thought something similar yourself.  Let me make this next point very clear  - **calories in DO NOT = calories out. **  Your body does different very different things with a Snickers than it does a carrot, so STOP thinking you can eat what you'd like because you are good about exercising.  Even if this method has "appeared" to work for you in the past, you would be wise to develop a different approach.  Unfortunately, at some point it will catch up with you (either in the form of appearance or disease).

I also am surprised when people talk of diet food tasting bland (or worse).  It is my experience that usually these people are those who go on fad diets where they only eat grapefruit for a week, or rely on pre-packaged meals and shakes to sustain themselves.  Those are also usually the people who are cranky when they're on "diets" because they are starving all of the time!

Remember - you are going to be eating for the rest of your life - you want the food to taste good!  It's OK if the food tastes good!  There are LOADS of healthy foods out there that do indeed taste delicious (in fact, you may find that once you quit eating junk food some of your taste buds are awakened and the healthy food is more flavorful).

As for being starving all of the time, if you are eating a healthy diet, you really don't need to count calories.  Counting calories is a relatively new concept and I can assure you people did a fine job of eating for many years before the nutrition facts were printed on our food.  Besides, it's pretty tricky to eat too much healthy food.  Have you ever seen someone un-button their pants after a meal and say, "Man, I should've stopped at that last fork-full of spinach."  Probably not.  So relax a little and enjoy the food you're putting in your mouth.

But what is considered healthy food?  With so many stories in the media contradicting each other, I admit it can be tricky to figure out sometimes.  Start here - trust your gut.  You probably have a pretty good idea of what is good for your body and what isn't.  And if you don't, well stay tuned for next week's post when I'll unveil the mystery that healthy food has become.

Until then, go munch on some celery.

Does Physical Health = Happiness?

This post is the first in a series relating physical health to happiness.  While it's true that merely having a healthy body will not make you a happier person (there are plenty of healthy, miserable people out there) taking care of your body is still a good place to start.  If your body is un-healthy, it will be much harder for you to achieve your maximum happiness, so we'll start here.  

Our society is pretty obsessed with fad diets, fad exercise regimes, diet pills, etc.  In fact, Americans spend over 40 billion dollars on fitness related products every year.  That's a lot of cash being thrown at people who are selling you little more than hope.  

Unfortunately, it's also a lot of cash that is apparently being wasted.  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one third of Americans are now considered obese.  Obesity is also the underlying cause of many preventable deaths, such as heart diseases, certain cancers, type 2 diabetes and strokes, to name a few.  As you can imagine, with one in three people being obese and most likely ending up with one of the above mentioned diseases, obesity health care costs are sky-high:  $147 billion (in 2008), and an obese person can expect to pay $1,429 more each year on heath related costs than their average-weight counterparts.  

I'm sure I don't have to do much convincing for you to agree that the obesity epidemic is certainly troublesome.  Chances are you have several loved ones who are obese or you may even be obese yourself.  Many people take the attitude of "I'm going to enjoy life and eat what I want and be as lazy as I want.  I don't want to eat things that taste like cardboard and then go run a marathon.  I'm fine being 'fat & happy.'"  Sadly, that attitude will actually sap you of future happiness, cost you more money, and negatively effect the lives of those closest to you.  Not exactly a prescription for happiness.  

So how do you become healthy and happy without starving yourself or depriving yourself?  Stay tuned - next week we will explore the nutrition side of health and hopefully, you can see how easy it is to start making (tasty) changes to your diet.  

Until next week, examine your own life.  How physically healthy do you think you really are?  Are there changes you've been meaning to make but just haven't gotten around to it yet?  Why?  

For more inspiration, visit me on Facebook!

How Simple

"Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify." Henry David Thoreau

Take a look at your surroundings right now.  Are you surrounded by "stuff?"  Your "stuff" is supposed to make your life easier...simpler...but it may actually be doing the opposite.  Accumulating more things can clutter our surroundings and our minds, detracting us from our own happiness.

Most of us are aware that in our society, consumerism is king.  Retailers, of course promote this and to some extent, we need to keep purchasing things to support our economy, but how much stuff do we really need?  

Have you ever felt the need to upgrade when what you had was actually working just fine?  This is seen a lot with cars, TVs, phones...  Is there really anything wrong with what you have or are you upgrading for the sake of upgrading?  Or, are you being convinced by some savvy marketing scheme that an upgrade is necessary?

Take a look at this clip from Jimmy Kimmel Live then ask yourself, 

"Is there anything I've been coveting lately that I could do without?  How can I simplify my life?"

Enjoy the humor and have a happy Friday!

Jimmy Kimmel iPhone5 Prank

Procrastination (I was going to think of a clever title, but didn't get around to it...)

Procrastination and I have a love-hate relationship.  On the one hand, I looooove to be lazy.  It's 73 degrees outside, the sun is shining and I just got a new book to read?  Guess where I'll be.  I guarantee you its not wiping down my kitchen cupboards.  When it comes to your happiness however, you're best off if you keep the procrastination to a minimum.  Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go outside and enjoy that 73 degree day - but if your cupboards need to be wiped down (as mine constantly do with a 3 year-old living in the house), you'll actually feel better (happier) if you wipe them down first and then go outside to enjoy the day.  That old "work first, then play" adage holds some merit.

When you procrastinate, the task you're avoiding gains power over you.  You'll think of it often.  "Gee, I really should get to that."  Your intentions are fair.  "As soon as I finish this other more important project..."  It might even make its way onto your to-do list.   But the more you avoid it, the more guilt you'll wind up feeling.

In the article, Procrastination: Ten Things To Know, Hara Estroff Marano makes a good point:  "There are many ways to avoid success in life, but the most sure-fire just might be procrastination." Do you recognize any of these procrastination types in yourself?  The three basic types of procrastination are - thrill seekers (wait until the last minute for the rush they get), avoiders (avoiding a fear of failure and worried about what others will think of them), and decisional procrastinators ("If I don't make the decision, I'm not responsible for the outcome"). Exhibiting these types of behaviors are sure to rob you of your future success - or at least postpone it.

So what works? For chronic procrastinators, cognitive therapy  is recommended.  For the rest of us occasional procrastinators, here is a trick that may help:  when you catch yourself putting off a task, ask yourself why you're not doing it right now.  If it's simply because it's not a high priority, then that's not really procrastination, you're just trying to utilize your time effectively.  If, however, you are putting off a task for another reason, your best bet is to take a minute to identify why you don't want to do the task, and then decide if maybe you'd better off if you just did it and got it over with.  Set a specific deadline when you'll have the task completed.

I'll leave you with these wise words from Frank Tibolt, writer, motivator and success trainer:

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing.  Action always generates inspiration.  Inspiration seldom generates action."

Action step: Take a look at your to-do list.  What items have you been putting off and why?  When is your deadline?

Time to Stop Multi-Tasking or, Stop Checking Facebook While You Read This Blog

I'm not going to lie - multi-tasking is something I've considered a great skill of mine.  Part of this may be due to the fact that I am female (studies have shown women to be better multi-taskers than men), but the rest is just God-given talent.  I can cook supper, feed the baby and make the grocery list all while showing my 3 year old my best dance moves to the latest "Fresh Beat Band" hit.  I.  am.  Awesome.

Or am I?

Surely, being able to do so many things at once is a blessing, right?  Maybe not as much as I had thought.  In fact, a multi-tasker can be downright irritating to the world around them.  You see, a multi-tasker feels empowered by the fact that they are getting so much done.  Unfortunately, they have so many pots on the stove, they don't realize they are not giving enough attention to any of the pots.   And while yes, they are getting a lot done, they aren't necessarily getting things done well.  Especially when some of those tasks involve other humans.

Case in point:  Today, I found myself lucky enough to be at the store of my wireless provider.  A friendly young man was assisting me and left for a short time to transfer my contacts to a different phone.  Having gone through this before, I knew this took a good minute to do, but was confident he would return as soon as it had finished.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered he had begun to help someone else while he was waiting for my phone to finish.  Unfortunately (for me), the gentleman he was now helping required more time than it took to transfer my contacts.  The store employee was probably patting himself on the back for being such a great multi-tasker but as time wore on, I was wanting to do something more akin to smacking him upside the head.  While I was waiting, I noticed a promotional sign hanging on the wall that mentioned how easy it would be to multi-task with some of the newest apps on your phone.  That's when it occurred to me - perhaps we shouldn't be so proud of our multi-tasking.  Perhaps we should do our best to stop multi-tasking.  Perhaps the very thing we thought was making us awesome is actually making people want to cause us bodily harm.  Think what would happen if once in awhile we hit the mute button on the T.V. to listen to the silly story our child is telling us.  Or how much faster we could finish that project we're working on if we checked our email once we'd finished instead of every time we hear the "new message" bell ding.  Finish going through the drive-through and then update your Facebook status, and of course, help one customer at a time.  :-)  If we all stop what we're doing and give focus and attention to the task at hand (particularly if that task involves another human) I think we will all discover that we have been missing things all along.  Part of living your happiest life is living in the present - multi-tasking prevents us from doing this.

Action step: Notice yourself today - how many times do you catch yourself multi-tasking?

Comfort Zone

I'll admit it - I like to be comfortable.  When the temperature varies outside 74-82 degrees, I have a hard time not complaining.  I have what I refer to as "sittin' down shoes" that look good, but I rarely wear because while very cute, comfortable they are not.  My favorite pants are maternity pants - you know, the kind that cover your entire belly.  No need to loosen a belt with those puppies on!  Bring on the buffet!

As much as I like to be comfortable (and tend to be a stickler for routine), today I wanted to talk about getting out of your comfort zone.  If you're like me, you're starting to sweat just thinking of the idea.  But I'm talking about more than wearing an uncomfortable pair of shoes for the sake of fashion.  I'm talking about doing something bigger. 

The idea for this post came to me a couple of weeks ago when I became aware of a friend who is trying a new sport as part of his exercise regime.  Being one of the least aggressive males I know, he is trying his hand at a form of boxing.  Totally out of his comfort zone.  As I learned of this new endeavor of his, I couldn't help but think what a great idea this is for him and how more people need to follow his lead.  (No, I'm not suggesting everyone go out and learn how to hit things).  When was the last time you tried to do something or learn something new that was totally out of your comfort zone? 

We are creatures of habit, which is not always a bad thing.  However, if we never venture out of our comfort zones we are robbing ourselves of tremendous growth opportunities.  You don't even have to be successful at it!  Simply the act of learning a new skill (even if you stink!) or working towards a large goal you had always thought un-attainable is enough to give yourself a significant happiness boost.

So, today I want you to think about something you've always wanted to do, but haven't.  Maybe you always thought "Oh, I could never do that" or maybe you thought "I'll get around to it eventually."  Well, lets have "eventually" start today!  By pushing yourself even just a little bit, you'll be amazed at the positive changes it can have in your life!  Good luck!